bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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