I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
