I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Is this like a preordered booty call?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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