omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
