did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
