Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
