Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
