Don't you send me to vm
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
