this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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