I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
