Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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