didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
home. puking in laundry basket.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
