new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize