Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
