My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize