every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
