omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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