i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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