This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just want nice things and good sex
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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