If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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