Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
