Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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