So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
