Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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