you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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