Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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