before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
