last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
