Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
