He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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