Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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