Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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