9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
organizing the empties. That sober.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
