No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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