Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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