I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
false alarm, still single
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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