The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize