i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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