I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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