She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
