hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
