I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
