His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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