someone get that fucking seahorse.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
