I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
