At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
