So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
