fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
