Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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