we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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