so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
