And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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