He had one of those small greek statue penises
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had to cum in my sink.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
