She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
