His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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