that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
