You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
