im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we're so committed to being not committed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
